You shouldn't have Joy

   Joy is a feeling you shouldn't have.  Not that we shouldn't have joy but joy is the surprise,  the shock of a smile when you've got nothing to smile about.  It's the good nights sleep when you've got plenty to keep you up,  the contentment when everything crashes around you.

   I remember the worst time of my life,  walking by a mirror and catching a glimpse of myself smiling.   I remember wondering why on earth I was smiling.   the smile turned to a puzzled look because of my circumstances.  My measured, perfect life was disintegrating  before my very eyes.  I was worried about housing, money,  my reputation and my children.  The puzzled look turned to wonder as I realized my circumstances had NOT stolen my joy.

   Paul's writings frequently annoy me.   "Count it all joy. . ."  Seriously,  I am not joyful when things are tough.  I want the world to know how bad things are and feel sorry for me.  If we're honest,  people who are always chipper are annoying.  Life isn't always Charlestons and Andy's  and that's okay.  Sighing over a flat tire doesn't mean I've lost my joy. 

   Sometimes we just NEED a pity party.  I set a timer for mine.  I dare suggest:  The next time  your life takes a left turn, set a timer for 15 minutes, 30 max.  Indulge in your personal,  private pity party.  You must do this alone:  Cry, remind yourself how unfair this is, how much more deserving you are,  blame everyone else.  Poor me,  nobody likes me, everybody hates me,  I'm gonna go eat a gallon of Ben & Jerry's.  When the timer goes off,  get up,  dust yourself off and with Jesus,  make a plan to get through this.  You haven't lost your joy or your salvation.  Give yourself permission to be who He made you.  And the fact is,  He made you with emotions,  positive and negative.  He also gave you the tools to deal with those emotions. 

Joy is  a gift,  a fruit of the Spirit according to the Word.   Grab a pencil and notebook and jot down one or two sentences on your definition of joy. 

Pride

     Thinkin’ on pride today,  not because I woke up wanting too.  I actually would choose not to think of pride.  I know some prideful/narcissistic people whose names I won’t mention but you do too.  My mama would say “Pride goes before a fall”  but I don’t see that happening a lot.  Most narcissistic people seem pretty successful  but I digress.

   I don’t consider myself prideful because I am not prone to tooting my own horn publicly.  In fact, I’m more likely to publicly put myself down.   But deep in the recesses of my soul,  I know.  My pride manifests in a more private, more quiet,  more deadly way.

   

   My pride manifests in fear of failure.  Fear of how people perceive me,  fear of people’s judgment,  fear of speaking out and being wrong.

 

   Pride keeps me from prayer.  I can’t boldly step out and pray for your need or promise to pray for you because,  what if?   What if what I pray doesn’t happen  and what if I fast for your need and God doesn’t deliver the way we want.  I don’t want to look like a fool or a lesser Christian.   I can’t risk my friends, family and congregation wondering about my walk with God because he doesn’t answer my prayers.    Fear of being wrong keeps me from boldly and courageously standing on the Word of God.  A fear born out of pride.  

   Webster says Pride is a "high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in conduct, etc.  

    I sincerely pray I don't "cherish"  pride.  However,  I am afraid I display a destructive  pride in my prayer and writing life.  Ouch.


What are you thinking 'bout pride in your life today?  

  

Truth, Whatever

   Truth.  A conversation with a friend the other day got me "thinkin on" it.  I said that I try to defeat worry by thinking about "whatsoever is true"  at this very moment.  She said truth doesn't change.  It got me to "thinkin".    

     At this very moment,  the truth is I am healthy, it's true I had the flu once,  but not today.   The weather here is beautiful, 68 degrees but the forecast tells me that won't be true tomorrow.   I won't share my "true" weight today but I sincerely hope that truth changes drastically.  
    
       I looked at 29 translations of Phillipians 4:8  and all of them,  ALL of them used the word "true".  Every other adjective in that verse had a variety of translations,  but not "true".   Now I was even more baffled.  I was grappling with the definition of "truth".  Dictionary.com says "in accordance with the actual state or conditions"   And that's the one I've used as deterrent to worry,  today's actual conditions.  

      So I did some studying, I believe  God's truth is absolute and does not change, nor can it be altered.   However,  the truth of our circumstances do change.   Today you've got a cough, hopefully it will  be gone tomorrow.   Today you've got a job,  it may be gone tomorrow;   today someone you love is here on earth with you,  tomorrow they may be Heaven.  The truth of my circumstances is ever changing but that does not change God's truth.  In the reality of my circumstances,  the truth is:  The Lord God is my strength,  He will never leave me or forsake me, all things work together for my good,    my steps are ordered of Him,  He restores my soul, I am forgiven,  blessed, chosen, and  redeemed.  That, my friends, is truth. 

   So,  when Paul admonishes us to think on things that are true, it's helpful to me to enumerate the truth in my circumstances.   I need to take my thoughts captive.   However,  I also need to think on God's truth,  to take His Word and apply it to my specific worry.   

   Take those worries into captivity by thinking what is true.  After you admit what is true in the circumstance,  you can  confess what is true in God's Word.  And that works even if the truth of your circumstance is  bankruptcy, illness, prodigal teenagers or adulterous husbands. 


Make a list of things that are true in your circumstances right now,  then apply that truth in the light of God's truth.   

Giftings

"Our giftings change over the course of time due to spiritual maturity and life circumstances."

   About a year ago,  I read this quote in a church bulletin and was intrigued by it.  As a graduate of a small Midwestern Christian college,  a district leader,  public school teacher,  a girls ministries teacher and director,  a CASA and a volunteer in camps for foster children;  I’ve taken my fair share of personality inventories.  I know my fruit, my color,  my communication style, and my “gifting”    However,   I read this at a transition time in my life.  I was retiring from 32 years as a teacher,  I had resigned my girls ministry position several years earlier,  not had a CASA case in five years and planning a cross country move.  I was interested in finding out where "gifting"  fit in with all these changes. 

As we took the Giftings inventory,  I was surprised to find that my results from 20 years ago were vastly different than currently.   Two of my top three “giftings”  had changed.  Upon reflection,  I was not shocked.

   Twenty years ago I was a single mom raising 2 kids, working at least 2 jobs and caring for aging parents.  I always laughed that I didn’t have time for mercy.   Not surprisingly it was my lowest gifting  20 years ago.    One of my jobs was teaching in a public school and at church I taught a girls Sunday School class.  Teaching was my number one gifting.     Administration was a second gifting and why not?  How else could I juggle all this stuff.   I’m not a morning person so those days were rushing about to get to work with a prayer life  on the run and Sunday afternoons  for house cleaning and laundry. 

   Today,  I ‘remember the Sabbath and keep it holy”.  Sunday afternoons are set aside to be DIFFERENT from the other days of the week,  (that’s a post for a different day).  Today,  I start every morning with Bible reading,  often a study or devotional and prayer.    Sunday afternoons are a date with the Lord where I bring him burdens but stop and listen to him.  I can do an online Bible study consistently and have even been able to actually physically join a Bible Study.   Out of necessity,  I did a prolonged study on prayer with Anne Graham Lotz,  David Jeremiah and Priscilla Shirer.  I have found the joy of conversing with Jesus.  Even so,  I was surprised to find Prayer as my number one gifting these days.  It wasn’t in the top five 20 years ago.   

   Intercession ranked second.  I actually pray for the needs of my friends and family and the list of prodigal children taped to my prayer room wall is added to regularly,  but I’ve also marked off some names on that list.  Knowing that prayer really does change things has brought me to my knees.   I was surprised to see it rank into my “giftings”.

   Administration fell to number 3 and teaching to number 5.  I was  little sad to see teaching fall  since I still love to do it!  But was humbled to accept that God had closed that season and given me new assignments.   

   I was thinking on these things today and I am over whelmed at God’s plan for my life,  it has never changed but he reveals it in pieces. 

What about you?  Has your "gifting" changed, why?  

Souvenirs

Thinkin' today about Souvenirs.   As a kid in the LATE 50's,  I had a charm bracelet and collected a charm everywhere we vacationed.  Later I collected little figurines and finally ticket stubs, brochures and all manner of memorabilia.  Recently, I have collected artwork from my travels,  usually bought from a street vendor.    My seven year old granddaughter has already jumped on the souvenir band wagon asking for a "souvenir"   of every trip we take, big or small.   All the  tourist spots  cater to that need for a souvenir.  Every parent cringes at the sight of the kiosk with inflatable everyone and flashing everything imaginable.  A Souvenir.  A memory.

Souvenirs keep us from forgetting the path we've traveled.  They remind us of where we've been.  When my Mom passed away,  I found a box of those figurines and paper souvenirs in her attic.  We had held onto those too long.

So today,  I'm thinkin' about the intangible souvenirs I've held onto over the years.   I am glad I've held onto the "souvenir" of salvation collected at age 9.  An Uncle I hardly remember who died when I was 11 took me to Kids Kamp,  over my mother's objections.  It was there I  acquired the "souvenir"  of salvation and a love of camp that transcended my aging. ( I went to camp last summer for the 16th year in a row! )

I kept the "souvenir"  of song that my Mom gave me early on but grew with choirs, ensembles, and solos.  I sang my first solo with a youth choir on "tour" in Duncan, Oklahoma. It was the first of hundreds I would sing throughout my life in dozens and dozens of places.

I've been blessed with many "souvenirs" of friendship.   As I type this, a picture of a friend I met  when I was six smiles down on me from the bulletin board,  we are still in touch.  She is my oldest friend but many came after her,  like the one in the other picture on the board who came into my life in the early 80's.  Then there is the group picture taken the night of my Oklahoma going away party,  eleven faces from the mid 80's till now.  All of them were a special gift to me during those motherhood years.  And those women from Evangel College/University,  the Wonder Women of W2S,  my vintage sisters,  what souvenirs they've turned out to be! 

I've collected a lot of souvenirs during my lifetime and  I  made room for many of them even during the downsize.  However,  it also occurs to me that it's time to throw some of them out.

Rejections, hurts, betrayals, sorrows, loss, and  bitterness  are souvenirs I collected against my will but collected none the less.  Like the box in my mom's attic, I've hung on to those too long.  They are yellowed, brittle, memories that I no longer have room for in my spirit.

I want to keep and continue to collect the souvenirs of  joy, laughter,  love and  friends.  I have room for those in my spirit and on my shelves! 

What about you?  What souvenirs are cluttering up your spirit?  Take inventory,  I am betting that you have some you should get rid of too.

Thinkin' about souvenirs today.